The council sit at Rivendell
All at ease under Elven spell
Voices sing, “Who’ll take the ring—
Into the darkness of Mordor’s hell?”
They argued long, and sat there still
‘Till a Hobbit voice chimed in, “I will.”
The raucous noise turned to sudden poise
“Frodo Baggins will take it up that forsaken hill.”
All eyes on Frodo, they did sit
The ring in the hands of a mere Hobbit!
“Frodo is great…”, but “who is that?!?”
They gazed now upon the Elf, Figwit.
Oh Figwit, could it not be you,
Who tackles evil in the sequels too?
Oh to shame, we have only Frodo to blame,
For banishing thee to a scene or two.
Oh greedy Hobbit, give it to he
That sits there smouldering, deliciously.
You need it not, you selfish dot!
It is Figwit that we wish to see.