Nick:DiamondTook Subject: Boba Fett VS That mysterious elf Figwit! Message: These two silent types collide in a battle of epic proportions! Boba Fett has for over twenty years captured the imaginations of millions of SW fans! Will Figwit achieve such hallowed status? or will his fandom be comprised of the mere... er... twenty or so of us that have noticed him? You decide!!! Nick:Lostcause Subject: OK Message: Just know that while FIGWIT is warming up his pout muscles(sp?), Boba Fett (Bobo) has entangled FIGWIT with his snare gun as is taking aim with his wrist laser!!! Nick:DiamondTook Subject: BUT!! Message: Figwit's a slippery (and willowy) one and with elven grace, manages to disengage himself and climb a tree, taking deadly arrow aim (he IS and elf--- we'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he can fight like one!) Nick:Lostcause Subject: Unfortunately... Message: FIGWIT has underestimated the strength of his scrawny little elfling arms. Under the added weight of a loaded arrow his aim fails and the arrow flies harmlessly to the ground! ...During all this Bobo has started his jet engines and is flying on a ramming course towards FIGWIT, a sitting duck in the tree!!! Nick:DiamondTook Subject: "grace" and "agility" being his elvish middle names... Message: He swings down from his perch, pirouettes, retrieves the fallen arrow, notches it to his bow and fires with flawless aim and sparks fly from Bobo's injured jet-pack!!! With fluid grace, he ducks behind a tree. Nick:Arador Subject: i don't think a being under partially rusted? scratched? armour can beat a graceful FIGWIT in lithe elvish costume Message: Besides, who knows how good Boba Fett is without all that high tech gadgetry that conceals his true self. Figwit knows however, with his keen elven sight and sense that Fett is insecure about himself and therefore so diligently conceals his visage to all beholder. Figwit can stare Boba Fett down with his nice eyes and Boba Fett will realize his own inferiority. Nick:Lostcause Subject: Continuing from below Message: Ahh But FIGWIT had in his Narcissistic admiration of his pirouette, forgotten that Bobo is the wielder of the 'Imperial-canopener-with-the-added-instant-jetpack-repair-function' in his pocket. He uses it and the battle is yet again status quo!!! Nick:Arwenelf Subject: Once again Figgy, enigmatic as ever... Message: looks silently on. He does a swishy move with his robe and swirls all around BF, confusing his tin radar head. While BF is trying to get his bearings back after all the super fast moves pulled on him by Figgy, our hero (did I mention his name is FIGWIT) steps back and pulls out another ultimate weapon, with a quick bit of styling thrown in.....yes, a killer move here........the one and only Princess Leia hairdo! BF is scared ****less by this move as it brings back bad memories of his last a** kicking! Figgy goes for the pout and stare...enough to make our inDUHvidual weep....and BF is powerless to resist the mind trap..... Nick:Lostcause Subject: But then!! Message: Bobo (thats what I call him) gathers the last ounce of courage and beat the Medusian trap by FIGWIT. He reaches for his backpack (yup he has one somewhere) and pulls out.... A shiny metallic FRYING PAN!!! FIGWIT sees his own pout and immediately starts to ogle his reflection. FIGWIT is incapacitated.!! POINT BOBO!!! Starting up his jet engine Bobo flies straight towards FIGWITs pretty boy face pan in hand... Seconds to go..Can FIGWIT stop the ogling(sp?) Nick:Bandura Subject: suddenly... Message: figwit sees another flash of silver reflecting light... from bandura's cheese grater! he sees his image all torn by the holes in the thing of horror and is filled with a raw furiosity that blows bobo away! Nick:Lostcause Subject: The power Message: of the cheese grater is too much for Bobo! He must think strategically here, turn FIGWITs attention away from the Grater... What's this!?! FIGWIT gets preoccupied with his now ruined hairdo (the Leia move)! Bobo Tip Toes behind a tree, and throws a rock in the opposite direction. FIGWIT swirls around to see what it was and immediately Bobo takes out a dozen forks, rushes up behind FIGWIT and entangles the forks in FIGWITs hair leaving the weeping elfling rolling on the ground in despair... Nick:Arwenelf Subject: And while he gets thrown back Message: and off course in his tin pot tin pack the frying pan flies from his grasp! Figgy (did I mention our hero's name is FIGWIT) pulls a stunner of a move, back flips over keeping hair do intact, and lands with his hand on the frying pan. He flips up, lands on his graceful pointy toes and from under his flowing robes, pulls another ultimate weapon to go with the 3 he has already.... Yes people, it has come to this........ the gloves are off and the egg whisk is out! He proceeds to whip BF all over the place with said whisk (note pun, bonus point team us) as BF makes a ton of noise cause he is a walking tin can. Figgy stays silent and graceful, not a thunk to be heard.... He stands back to admire his handiwork and casts his gaze over the pile of dented rust that is now BF. Nick:Arwenelf Subject: Ta daaaaaaaaaaa Message: Figwit and BF (as I shall now refer to it) circle one another, silently except for the strange clanking sound BT makes whenever he moves (all that tin stuff-not good for the silent factor ppl) Figwit, our hero, smoulders silently, unnerving BF with his deep dark eyes. BF tries to do the same back and fails miserably as no one can see his eyes (or if he has any for that matter) cause they are behind a wire mesh type thing! Point to Figwit. BF goes for his laser gun, but gives the game away by clunking (point to Figwit) and Figgy in a stunning move, silently reaches for a secret weapon stashed in his SILENT robes.....a giant magnet!! OH MY GOD!! BF is helpless, he gets pulled toward the magnet and is stuck. Glued by his tinny a**. GO ME...GO FIGWIT....now where are the kitchen utensils here? Tin opener..... Have you had enough already??? Figwit is ahead.....and always will be if I have anything to do with it! Figgy the winner Nick:Bandura Subject: yup, looks as though we've won! Message: GO US! anyone know anything about mounting head's on plaques? as in trophies? I'd like one of the masked bobo and one of lostcause... and whoever else was stupid enough to go up against the torn ladies! Nick:Lostcause Subject: Aren't you celebrating a bit to soon? Message: As far as I can tell it's a tie. True Arwenelf Bandura (Sore looser Bandura, you can't run around chopping peoples heads off you know!) got to Bobo with the eggwhisker(sp?) and the grater. However I left STICKWIT wailing on the ground with a dozen forks in the wig ...GO ME!!! Score: STICKWIT: 1 Bobo: 1 STICKWIT Sitting There Increasing Cameo Karma With Indisputable Tenacity Nick:Arwenelf Subject: A dozen forks you say! Ha ha ha Message: Figgy in his calm and cool manner whips them out of his hair, silently and in a killer move lets fly with them all at ole tinpot BF beat up with eggwisk loser. They crunch into his tinpot suit and pin him to the tree, such is the force that threw them. He may look slight but our hero (did I mention his name is FIGWIT and he's gorgeous) has amazing strength under pressure and can over come all tin pot walking clanking kettles!!! Tin opener, Leia hair, egg wisk and frying pan are all present and accounted for as is TINPOT BF tinny a** loser!!!! GO US Nick:Lostcause Subject: Ahh But Figgy hadn't taken into account that Message: Bobo outsmarts him in every way... FIGWIT thinking the battle over starts freshening up and thus taking his mind off Bobo...BIG mistake! Bobo pushes the anti gravity button on his forearm (yes it's a kitchen utility. You try to scrape off tabasco sauce from the ceiling of your spaceship-kitchen without it!!) and SWOOSH the forks fly off in different directions, one of them flicking the make-up kit FIGWIT was holding in his hand! Restarting his jetpack Bobo takes off while reaching for his backpack. Terror stricken FIGWIT is frozen to the spot unable to move his size 'spaghetti' limbs. Out of the backpack Bobo fetches a roll of aluminum foil. With the help of his jet engine he flies in circles, covering FIGWIT from head to toe in Alu foil, leaving the elfling looking like a baked (albeit skinny) potato! Ah! But Bobo isn't finished yet... Pulling out an inflatable oven from his backpack, he forces 3 packages of yeast down his throat, before putting the desperately struggling FIGWIT in the oven and turning it on...After a few minutes the 'meal' is done and out crawls a disheartened FIGWIT. The once so fair looking elf now looks like a cross between a dried plump and stuffed poultry!!! GO MEEEE!!!! Nick:Arwenelf Subject: Ahhhh, but BF had forgotten that Message: yeast to Figwit is like spinach is to Popeye!!!! He may crawl out of the oven, but once he gets to his feet, his muscles start to ping and fill right out to enormous proportions. He attains superhero strength and with his killer utensils and moves lets rip at BF and his tinpot tinpack once and for all. He flies all around, turning the alu foil trick of baked potato wrapping on to BF and ties him up in a killer bondage move. He then whips out from under his robes the ULTIMATE ULTIMATE WEAPON........Yep, you guessed it......a microwave!!! He squishes BF and the tin pot tin pack into the microwave and lets rip with the timer. 20 minutes later and BF goes POP!! Big time. All that foil....not good for the tin can!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. He is a melted, mangled pile of tin pot goo. And as he sets he turns into scrap and sold to be turned into tin cans for pet food. Winner .....FIGWIT.....go us!!! Nick:Lostcause Subject: LMAO! OK OK Message: Bobo is toast I give!!! Hehe at least I left FIGWIT looking like an oversized, steroid beefcake who would make the incredible hulk look gorgeous in comparison!!! BWAHAHAHAHA I get the final word GO ME!!!! Great fight Arwenelf :-D Nick:Bandura Subject: excellent ending! Message: up comes legolas... smiling shyly... 'you did all of that for me?' he asks wistfully 'nope' is figgy's curt cold answer, 'for truth and love and all that is good! and most of all for the devoute ladies of torn!' 'does this means its over between us?' 'what ARE you talking about? there never was any 'us'. you perception of pj's masterpiece is distorted, gimli is yours!' legolas makes a pained expression and turns to pout and maybe find celeborn or elrond for some cheering up. once legolas is out of earshot figgy lets up a glorious shout: "GOOOOOO MEEEEE!"        WINNER:FIGWIT!